So You're Ready To Be a Parent
Television audiences continue to respond well to reality series, both contest related (Apprentice, Big Brother, Amazing Race) as well as helping hand types of shows (Nanny 911, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Starting Over). Tumbleweed Entertainment combines these two successful elements to bring you a unique reality series tentatively titled, 'So you Think you Are ready to be a Parent.'
As Keanu Reeves said in the movie Parenthood, "You have to get a license to fish. Any asshole can be a father."
With 'So You think You Are Ready To Be A Parent' we are going to put that notion to the test as we bring 8 young, childless couples who all hope to have children in the next few years. All 8 couples would live in the same complex for 8 weeks. During that time they would compete against the other couples in simulated exercises and contests that would demonstrate various parenting skills. The contest would be judged by a panel of child rearing experts and celebrity parents who have written books on the subject (think Dr. Spock and Jimmy Iovine's wife, Jamie Lee Curtis, Maria Shriver, Billy Crystal, Katie Couric as examples, even though I believe Dr. Spock is deceased). The winning couple would receive supplies of everything babies need for their first years of life, nursery furniture, pampers, cleaning wipes, baby powder, strollers, car seats, clothes and shoes for the child as it grows.
The challenges would begin with pregnancy. Each member of the couple wearing pregnant suits for several days while they are put through a barrage of "tests" including building carriages, cribs, bikes and assorted toys for time. Also, the couple would be given a set amount of money to decorate a nursery which would be judge by the panel as well. Couples winning a challenge may be rewarded on certain occaisions with backpacks to carry their newborn, a runner's stroller or any of a myriad of product placements. More prizes along the way gives more opportunity for corporate sponsors, product placement and in-show branding.
Other pregnancy contests which would deal with other preparations for the baby's arrival include child proofing a house, being judged on how safe you make your living area as well as middle of the night errands for the husbands to pick up strange items for their wives (ie. Ice packs, pillows, strange food combinations), of course being timed for a grade as well as graded on the accuracy of the list.
After pregnancy, the 'simulated baby' dolls will arrive like newborns. The couples will give them names and be responsible for their safety and security at all times. They will need to be fed and have their diapers cleaned just like a real child and on occasion will need to be re=changed just after putting on the new diaper. Feeding will be a challenge every day with the kitchen being wired to explode oatmeal, raisins, cheerios and spaghetti to simulate feeding children. The entire time being judged on calmness, as well as cleanliness.
Once the baby arrives, the real challenges will begin. If at any point during the competition, a couple were to lose track of their 'baby', they would be automatically disqualified. The first element to newborns and parenting we will explore is the sleep deprivation element, which will be key for the rest of the show. Each baby will be equipped with mechanical voices that will cry loud and long. They won't stop until the child is attended to in a proper manner so that the judging panel would decide that the child has been properly soothed and the crying would then cease. For the first few days of "parenthood", this would take place every twenty minutes or so through the night. Quarrelling couples and couples that sleep through their child's crying would be judged lower on the scorecard.
Now that the baby has arrived, the parents will be challenged one at a time (since most parents do grocery shopping with their child and not their spouse) to go through a store (Target/Walmart would be good for this) and have 30 minutes to shop for what the baby needs for one week. While they are shopping, products will fall from the shelves, much like when a child grabs at everything in the supermarket while their parent's head is turned. Parents will have to replace all of the items back to their proper place on the shelf, all while the clock is still ticking.
Each night the couples will sit down with a child rearing counselor to be given their daily grade on their parenting performance. Each week, the couple with lowest scores will be eliminated.
As the weeks move on, the couples will be given challenges to simulate activities for toddlers, kindergarteners, and then pre middle school age(2nd to 5th grade). Some of those ideas include each couple putting on a puppet show for kids in grade school. The children would vote for the best and worst puppet show. Parents would be given a list of sports to choose from and be given a group of (10) seven year-olds to coach in the sport of their choice. Again, a skill to be done individually by each parent. A combination of both the kids voting and sports psychologist experts will determine how well the parents perform on the coaching skills.
As a couple, you will be required to prepare a birthday party for your 'child' to be judged by a panel of party planners to the stars and the psychologists. These are just some of the many challenges to be placed in front of these young couples who think they know how to do everything, until they have no sleep and little direction on how to complete any of the myriad of tasks and challenges set up for them.
When the contest is down to the final three couples, the test kids will be brought in to take the parents "through the ringer" per se, giving them the opportunity to exhibit some of their child rearing skills learned on real live children who will be appropriately cast to be precocious, unpredictable and sneaky, testing both the couple's patience and ability to wrangle children who are being uncooperative and difficult.
This one hour reality show is going to be riveting to parents and non-parents alike. Parents will say, "See, it's not so easy." Everyone else will be entertained by the difficulties and challenges that these "new" parents face without any of the requisite skills, and how they adapt and learn to cope with little sleep and mounds of stress as they try to win themselves everything they need for their first newborn. The show will entertain you with competition hijinx and conflict, as well as inform the audience on the newest ideas in child rearing, as well as many of the old parenting ideas which are still used by most of America today.